Re-evaluating...

Today while checking out Facebook and reading everyone’s posts, I noticed a friend had joined the group “Praying for Layla Grace”, out of curiosity I checked out the site. It is a group that was formed to pray for a 2 year old that has a brain tumor and is not doing very well. When I went to their blog page I read the post from yesterday and it made me realize how much I truly take for granted, the health of my children. Here is a part of the post, the part that made me take a step back and re-evaluate my life. “Towards the end of a pregnancy, a mother will wake up to go to the bathroom every few hours. I think this is the body’s way of preparing you for a newborn and the sleepless nights that come along with it. Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her. So I’ve spent the last few days in a quiet house, able to do whatever my heart desires. But all I want to do is wake her up and hold her. She doesn’t really want to be held much anymore. She prefers to be rocked in her dark bedroom for a little while, then laid down in her bed. She gets easily over stimulated by the noise of the other children downstairs. She wants dark, silence, peace and sleep. So we give those things to her. As much as it breaks my heart to not be able to hold her all day, I know her little body needs peace and sleep." After reading this I have decided that I should be a better mom, I am not a terrible mom, but I could be better. I love my children, but do I always show it? Yes I may be tired or grumpy, but it is not their fault that someone else has upset me. So I end this with a prayer for families with sick children and for the children that are struggling with whatever illness that has affected them and their families...